It's Tuesday morning.
I'm back in the office after five days without an internet connection.
I'm not sure I should be doing a Fracas Monday Melee as all I want to do is kill every member of British Telecom, but I will try to be calm and rational …
1: The Misanthropic.
(Name something - about humanity - you absolutely hate).
This week I have been mostly hating British Fucking Telecom (calm and rational enough for you?).
2: The Meretricious:
(Expose someone or something that's phony, fraudulent or bogus).
I've said it before (twice now) and I'll say it again: that shitty little bit on your broadband agreement that says "service may vary according to your location and the distance from your exchange" which means that you pay through the nose for fast broadband and get a worse than dial-up speed, when it connects at all.
British Fucking Telecom, I am going to kill every last one of you bastards. And your families. And your pets.
3: The Malcontent:
(Name something you're unhappy with).
See 1 and 2 above. Only with more swearing. And guns.
4: The Meritorious.
(Give someone credit for something and name it if you can).
Fuck off!
5: The Mirror.
(See something good about yourself and name it).
I am remarkably calm and easy-going.
6: The Make-Believe:
(Name something you wish for).
An internet service provider who provides an internet service (fat fucking chance).
10 comments:
My goodness-the hostility is practically sending smoke rings from your post today, Dive. I thought non-Americans did have guns.
Yeah, I think I hate your broadband service too. You are missed.
Hostile? Moi?
I'm calm and rational.
And it's only handguns and automatics we're not allowed to own.
Actually, I think I'll stick a chainsaw and some katanas in my bag when I go visiting BT; let's make this messy and fun!
I have these two joints in the box on top of my dresser, dive. I was at a family party a couple of weeks ago and my teenaged nephew slipped them into my purse after I got into a heated discussion with his dad about how Tommy Thompson is a total asshole.
I promised myself that I wouldn't smoke them because I am like this...role model or some damn thing now.
But..I think you could use them and they are yours, dude.
Thank you, Maria. I'm touched. I think I still have some old blow in a guitar case somewhere.
What I really need is for the company I pay good money to every month to pony up the service I am paying them for, not to simply take my money and flip me the bird.
Mr. Ranty Pants! Oh how we love you! I would take Maria up on her offer the blow might just make ya BLOW!
... no change there then. Welcome back Dive, lots of Under A Train to catch up on! Your part of the readership has been missed, as has your wit and presence. Smarm, smarm.
Hi, Prudence. I'm glad to be back.
Lynn: I'll have to catch up tomorrow, it's been stinkingly busy here today.
And I'm going to be a couple of hours late home anyway because we've had a smegging jumper 'under a train' at Kelvedon and they've cancelled everything until they've hosed the bastard up.
Roll neck or V-neck?
:)
Hee hee and hee again, young Mike
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