Filler Meme Crapfest

Hey, Maria! Where have all the memes gone? You used to churn out those things like a politician churns out lies.
Savannah posted a book meme recently but I'd already done that one ages ago.
Bummer.
What on earth am I going to do for filler crap without a completely pointless meme to play with?

Sigh …
Better write my own dumb crapfest.
Eyes down for Twenty Dive Questions.

Hokay, the usual meme rules apply: yadda yadda yadda, so feel free to ignore them.
A lot of this is even lamer than usual as I am feeling spectacularly uninspired right now.
I'll post my own answers in a little while.
Have a go yourself if you're feeling so bored that you might otherwise gnaw off your own arm for something better to do.

1. When you were in the womb, what was the weird food your mother craved?

2. If you had to kill a fellow blogger, who would it be and why?
And no weaselling out of it. You've got to choose one of us and pull that trigger. C'mon! Have a little fun!

3. Do you own a pair of "cargo pants"? If so, do you know how fucking stupid you look wearing them?

4. There has to be a "who would you shag" question in these stupid things so let's make it personal: Which ONE resident of our little town of Blogville would you sleep with and why?

5. Possibly linked to the above, which present from a prospective suitor would most impress you?
(a) jewellery
(b) flowers
(c) shoes
(d) a book token
(e) an erotically-shaped vegetable
(f) other (please specify)
I ask merely for information … ahem.

6. Which acting parts were you forced to play on stage back at school?
Be honest; we're looking for embarrassment here. Full stories, please.

7. Hokay kids, let's talk phobias. What totally fucking freaks you out and leaves you whimpering for you mother?

8. Which great opponent of Cartesian dualism resists the reduction of psychological phenomena to a physical state and insists there is no point of contact between the extended and the unextended?

Yes, of course it's Henri Bergson, but can you spot the quote? … (and no, it is NOT Cardinal Fang of the Spanish Inquisition as his version of that particular question stopped at "physical state"). I expect only Phil to get this one.

9. How many fluffy, rubbery, plastic, wind-up, edible or just plain strange creatures inhabit your personal workspace and what are they?

10. Memes are hard work to write. I am SO running out of ideas here … How about: Do you personally find your own genitalia attractive?

11. Here's a topical one as the Olympics have just finished: Naked, greased and sent up to your room: Mark Spitz or Michael Phelps?

12. Great on-screen love affairs. Fess up; which one gets you hot/moist/whatever?

13. Still on movies, who would you have play you in your bipoic?

14. What's your regular coffee shop order?

15. Give it up with two of life's great mysteries.

16. What's the most disgusting thing you've ever eaten? We'll exclude "my own semen" from this for reasons well known to trawlers of my archives.

17. Clowns; do they make you:
(a) Laugh,
(b) Sudder,
(c) Horny?

18. Who was the last person you told to "Fuck off!"?

19. An alphabet of "Who's the best" …
(a) Bond?
(b) Batman?
(c) Monster in Gojira movies (other than the rubbery one himself)?
(d) Member of Village People?
(e) Member of the Banana Splits?
(f) Simpsons supporting cast member?
(g) Beatle?
(h) Magnificent Seven character?
(i) Frasier or Niles?
(j) Character in Doonesebury (my primary source for US politics since around 1970)?
(k) Osmond?
(l) Disney baddie?
(m) Bond Girl?
(n) Bond villian?
(o) Member of the Partridge Family?
(p) Radio DJ?
(q) Non-monotheistic deity?
(r) Fictional deity?
(s) Monkee?
(t) Witch: Samantha off "Bewitched", Hermione Granger or Willow Rosenberg?
(u) M.A.S.H. character?
(v) Flintstone?
(w) Tom or Ray, off Car Talk?
(x) Jackson?
(y) Jedi?
(z) Member of your household?

20. An alphabet of "Who's the crappest" …
(a) Bond?
(b) Batman?
(c) Monster in Gojira movies?
(d) Member of Village People?
(e) Member of the Banana Splits?
(f) Simpsons supporting cast member?
(g) Beatle?
(h) Magnificent Seven character?
(i) Frasier or Niles?
(j) Character in Doonesebury?
(k) Osmond?
(l) Disney baddie?
(m) Bond Girl?
(n) Bond villian?
(o) Member of the Partridge Family?
(p) Radio DJ?
(q) Non-monotheistic deity? .
(r) Fictional deity?
(s) Monkee?
(t) Witch: Samantha off "Bewitched", Hermione Grainger or Willow Rosenberg?
(u) M.A.S.H. character?
(v) Flintstone?
(w) Tom or Ray, off Car Talk?
(x) Jackson? .
(y) Jedi?
(z) Member of your household?