A piece of junk mail awaited me on my return home last night.
Apparently our lovely rail franchise is running a competition to win first class tickets from Norwich to London at weekends.
I could be a lucky winner.
They have also spent tens of thousands of pounds of my own and my fellow commuters' season ticket money on an embarrassing campaign of TV ads promoting weekend breaks in London by train.
and yet …
The rail line is closed at weekends for "essential engineering works" (which is why I'm late in every Monday morning due to "over-running engineering works").
The "essential engineering works" have been going on for over four years now.
They run a replacement bus service at weekends.
Which takes hours longer and is many times more expensive than sitting on a scheduled coach from National Express (whose own dubious delights were so memorably and hilariously "praised" by the Divine Comedy in the song "National Express").
Before I walk to the station and start shooting people I'll just run through the salient points again:
Our rail franchise company has spent tens of thousands of pounds advertising weekend train breaks in London.
There are no trains at weekends.
PUTTHEFUCKINGLOTIONINTHEFUCKINGBASKET!
And you wonder why I twitch.
7 comments:
Much love and kisses, rail travel sucks. And not in a satisfying pop and roll over to sleep kind of way.
Hee hee.
It sucks even more today, Kate, as the entire tube is flooded so I've got to run all the way across London in the torrential rain to get to the station and then they are running a "reduced" service back to Norfolk due to the weather.
Enjoy your weekend.
XOX
Dive, that is one of my favorite scenes... "it rubs the lotion on itself"...ewww.. where does he hide those dangly bits when he is dancing! I hope you make it home and have a great weekend.
Cheers, Prudence.
I almost considered getting the camera out and doing a Jaime Gumb, but sanity grabbed me just in time.
You have a great weekend, too.
oh Dive how delicious it would have been to see those lovely legs again! I got a funny "things that make you go mmmm" on my blog. It really is just crap post on a Friday afternoon, when I would rather be home on my deck sipping a nice Rioja. Made me kind of make that "How weird is that” face!
M. Dive,
You know and we all know that you should be down under, mate. Your only frustration would be finding something to bitch about while you sit in the sun with a beer, or leave for work at 8:45 to get there by 9:01.
My 19 kilometres, (11miles) takes 12-18 minutes, and I don't need snorkle and goggles. AND we can talk like and comprehend the Brits. Well, some folk can.
Kate, see what you can do with this bloke !
Ew. Bribing dogs with chicken bones. Pulling moths out of mouths. But...the thing that freaked me out the most was that one of the actors who played the physician who was yanking the moth out of the girl's mouth was one of the neighbor's in Mister Roger's neighborhood.
After that, I could never believe it when he said that the world was a happy place....
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