Monday Melee

Hokay, so I missed a Fracas Monday Melee thanks to the broadband connection in my village being deader than flares (no, if you wear them I really do not want to know). I'm on intermittent dial-up at the moment and can just about handle an email but it takes one look at my instruction to load a blog page and tells me to fuck off.
Hey ho.

Hence, I am only posting when I'm in London and I'm buggered if I'm sufferring that commute more than three days a week just so I can write drivel to you lot.

1: The Misanthropic.
(Name something - about humanity - you absolutely hate).
This week I have been mostly hating the fact that I go decades (millennia, actually) without a date and then out of the blue I am hit on by a pretty girl but she turns out to be a psycho.

2: The Meretricious:
(Expose someone or something that's phony, fraudulent or bogus).
Bush's assertion that America is at the forefront of the battle against climate change because "technology is on the verge of a breakthrough".
Come on, George; you're doing fuck all (apart from burning more oil) because acting to slow climate change would hurt your profits and those of your buddies.
The "fuck you lot, I'm gonna hit the lecture circuit and leave the mess for the Democrats" attitude simply adds more weight to the sack of shit that is your "legacy" and makes your country a pariah in the eyes of the world.
Twat!

3: The Malcontent:
(Name something you're unhappy with).
Claire's getting married in September and I can't fit into my stupid suit. Do I go on a crash diet or do I say "Fuck it. I'm a fat bastard" and buy a new one?

4: The Meritorious.
(Give someone credit for something and name it if you can).
Groover, for realising the value of great tone.

5: The Mirror.
(See something good about yourself and name it).
I managed not to vomit on the twat who sweated Lynx all over me on the tube.

6: The Make-Believe:
(Name something you wish for).
More bookshelves.