500 Words IV - The Stories

Searing tragedy and hilarious comedy (and excellent writing of course); this week's sentence brought out the extremes in you.
Lulu in particular incorporated the sentence in such a manner that I can only ascribe to genius.

I shall post next week's sentence tomorrow, but this week's - from Mario Vargas Llosa's "Aunt Julia And The Scriptwriter" - was:

"But with the passage of the years Lucho Abril Marroquin was to tell himself that of all the instructive experiences of that morning the most unforgettable had not been either the first or the second accident but what happened afterwards."

Should anyone wish to join in, feel free. I'll add links and reviews at the bottom of this post as latecomers turn up (Robyn and Lynn, whose idea this little writing exercise was, are both standing in the corner this week as they are late with their homework. Indeed young Lynn will have to see me after class as we are still expecting two stories from her).

First up, here is my own take on the sentence:

Señor Marroquin And The Gift Of Flight


But with the passage of the years Lucho Abril Marroquin was to tell himself that of all the instructive experiences of that morning the most unforgettable had not been either the first or the second accident but what happened afterwards.

Accidents should by their very nature be instructive, but the wisdom gleaned from such events is rarely revealed in a flash and will often only emerge after a long and bitter struggle with the subject's consciousness.

Lucho, however, had learned his first lesson fast; in that blissful eternity - actually only a few short seconds - between discovering that he was flying and discovering that he was no longer flying.

Regrettably he was unable to put this instructive lesson into immediate effect, which was a pity, as acting on it would certainly have prevented the second accident and in consequence, its consequences.

The lesson Lucho learned that morning was one that perhaps he should have already known.
And it is this:
Collision with fast-moving and heavy objects should be avoided if at all possible.

It was not that Lucho had stepped off the kerb without looking, indeed he had looked and had seen the bus approaching. His mind, however, had other things on it right then and had simply filed the information at the bottom of the pile, meaning to look at it later.

The impact had been oblique, providing passengers on board the bus with the startling vision of a middle-aged man flying in a graceful arc right over the perimeter fence of the adjacent fairground.

On another day, Lucho may have welcomed the opportunity to get in free but on this occasion he was understandably distracted.

One cannot truthfully ascribe much prescience to the porcine mind and so we should not apportion blame to the pride of the county, the famous Diving Pig as it shuffled forward and dropped from the high board just as Lucho flew over the fairground fence and hit the side of the pool with such force as to rupture it and drench the surrounding crowd with the ensuing tsunami.

Landing as he did, full on his back on the wet blue plastic of the pool's base Lucho had just enough time to register the approach of three hundred and fifty pounds of squealing panic before the pig hit him in the face.

Learning that he was dead came as a great surprise to Lucho.

Learning that there is an afterlife even more so.

The most unforgettable and startling discovery of that morning, however, was the revelation that this - and only this - precise set of circumstances (which perhaps explains the scarcity of such apparitions) is how Angels are made.

Lucho Abril Marroquin stared aghast at the wreckage of his body, now inextricably mingled with the burst carcass of the once famous Diving Pig.

He glanced at the crowd: some screaming, some laughing, all drenched.

He gazed awestruck at his magnificent wings and flapped them experimentally.

There was a faint whiff of bacon.



I had originally called this instructional tale “Pigs Might Fly” but felt that gave away a leetle too much, both of the plot and of my own complicated relationship with things spiritual.
Hey ho.

And here, in no particular order, are your own excellent stories:

Neetzy's "Lucho's Lament"

Hoorah for Neetzy for setting her story in Peru, just as the original sentence had been.
This starts so beautifully and lulls us into a false sense of security before the inevitability of disaster carried in the opening sentence changes everything and everybody forever in one horrifying moment.
I so wanted this to end happily as Neetzy drew me effortlessly into Lucho's little world.
Skilfully written and heartbreaking.


Katherine's Untitled Story

An excruciatingly funny misadventure set in the kind of office we've all experienced and featuring the kind of people we all know and some of us have to work with.

I couldn't help but think of Amanda and Dan in my own office when I read this.

Bonus points (lots) for a description of God that had me rolling in the aisles.


Lulu's "Lucky"

Lola and Lulu are back. Yay!

This time their adventure fetaures one of those great first lines that grabs you and makes you want to read on.
Ew!

And it gets ickier … and funnier.
What a great take on the name Lucho Abril Marroquin, too.

Best of all, though, is the way Lulu includes the Sentence. Pure genius!
What an awesome punchline. It had my imagination going to places no imagination should have to go … and laughing myself silly for ages.

Our Robyn gets her story in just before the deadline.
Well done!

Robyn's "Lucho Makes A Friend"

A complete change from our tragedy and comedy; Robyn comes up with a delightful love story … or at least what we hope will be the start of one.

This one had me smiling right from the start, and also made me fancy tea and muffins in the park.

Lovely.

Aha! Here comes another latecomer, but believe me, this one is well worth the wait:

Prudence's The Torcedores

I've given Prudence full marks plus a gold star for this story.
It is simply awesome and she has been so incredibly clever in weaving her Lucho's story into that of someone else's.
I shall not be so gauche as to give away her secret; you simply must go read this one for yourselves and try to figure it out, but in her last paragraph I had to stop and go "Woah, Nellie! That is so fucking clever, Pru!"

Then I read it through again and it was even better the second time.

Extra marks for some sweet alliteration, too (you know I'm a sucker for that stuff).

Awesome!