We interrupt this programme to bring you a classic "Maria Meme" … something I have not done for years, so it's about time.
Do it yourself if you want to. If not, meh …
Eyes down.
1) ONE OF YOUR SCARS. HOW DID YOU GET IT?
My appendix burst when I was fifteen and as well as a scar wide enough to get an entire surgeon inside my gut I also have a nifty one that originally housed a drainage tube (icky) from that operation. It looks just like a stab wound so that's the one I would show on a drunken "Hey! Let's compare scars!" evening. "I got this in a knife fight between the Sharks and the Jets!"
Ha!
2) WHAT IS ON THE WALLS OF YOUR BEDROOM?
Hang on; I'll go take a look …
Two big giclee prints of Edward Hopper lighthouses, framed in sea green driftwood (neatly planed, not the gnarly type you get in a certain type of craft shop), a whole bunch of Victorian Waterhouse prints (you know, the ones with scantily clad nymphs all over the place), a beautiful relief sculpture that Helen did based on an Arthur Rackham illustration, a big Australian perenti lizard sculpture painted in aboriginal designs hanging up behind the door, and a huge red abstract painting by a Swiss artist nobody's ever heard of. The rest of the walls are full of book cases and tallboys and a wardrobe.
Oh, and an occasional spider.
3) WHAT DOES YOUR MOBILE PHONE LOOK LIKE?
I do not have and shall never have a mobile fucking phone.
4) WHAT MUSIC DO YOU LISTEN TO?
Mostly either baroque or modern classical. I used to listen to a lot of Steely Dan, Joni, Dylan, Tom Waits, Zappa, Miles Davis, stuff like that, and I still occasionally find myself in that kind of mood these days.
5) DO YOU KNOW WHAT TIME YOU WERE BORN?
Five minutes to midnight.
6) WHAT DO YOU WANT MORE THAN ANYTHING RIGHT NOW?
Right now? I want time to skip forward until my coffee is cool enough to drink.
Oh, and a girlfriend.
7) WHO DO YOU MISS?
Nobody. I'm a pretty fucking good shot with a rifle.
8) IS ANYONE IN LOVE WITH YOU OR HAS A CRUSH ON YOU?
Not that I'm aware of. If there were anyone I wish they'd let me know. I'm not getting any younger here.
9) WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED?
Pauline at the old office, when I went in last Thursday after almost a year's absence.
No tongues.
10) WHAT IS YOUR MIDDLE NAME?
Anthony, after Dad's brother who got shot down and killed in the final days of WWII at the age of just nineteen.
11) THE BEST TV SHOW EVER CREATED?
The original Danish version of The Killing was shockingly good, but I'd have to stick a pin in and choose between Buffy, The Simpsons and Frasier.
12) THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO?
Mike at the office, just now on the phone (he gets in ludicrously early to beat the traffic and then goes home in the middle of the afternoon).
13) DO YOU GET SCARED IN THE DARK?
Hell, no. Darkness is comforting. I get scared in daylight, when I can see other people.
14) THE LAST PERSON TO MAKE YOU CRY?
Dorothy Parker. I was reading her short story "The Little Hours" a couple of nights ago and laughed so hard I cried. It was either that or pee myself.
15) WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOGNE/PERFUME?
I am anosmic. All perfume tastes (I can't smell but I can taste stuff in the air) like paint or turps or gasoline to me as all I can pick up on is the solvent. I could never kiss a girl's perfumed neck without gagging.
CLEAN is the best taste! Nobody needs stinky perfume unless they are covering up another stink. Just leave the crappy stuff on the shelf and take a wash.
16) WHAT KIND OF HAIR/EYE COLOUR DO YOU LIKE IN THE OPPOSITE SEX?
As long as they have at least one eye and hair of some description I'm easy. Actually, bald can look good on a woman, though lately I'm finding long grey hair kind of nice.
17) WOULD YOU RATHER BE SMART OR FUNNY?
I'm both. I'm also ugly but that's just nature balancing things out.
18) COFFEE OR ENERGY DRINKS?
Coffee! COFFEE! COFFEE! Strong. Black. No sugar. Espresso or bica.
A latte first thing at the office.
At home, Lavazza Gold or Cuban.
Energy drinks? Ptha!
19) WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE PIZZA TOPPING?
There is only one pizza topping: home-made passata, buffalo mozzarella and fresh basil. Anything else is not a pizza, but a "pizza" (an American term that is pronounced much the same as pizza but tastes nothing like it as it is basically baked flat bread with somebody's dinner slopped on top).
Anybody putting tinned pineapple chunks on top is gonna get a slap. Or meat or fish or God forbid (thank you Emily for forever tainting my view of Americans) macaroni cheese.
Don't mess with perfection, people.
20) IF YOU COULD EAT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW, WHAT WOULD IT BE?
Right now, I'm not hungry. I'm just waiting for my coffee.
21) WHO IS THE LAST PERSON WHO MADE YOU MAD?
Probably someone in the government. I don't remember.
22) DO YOU SPEAK ANOTHER LANGUAGE?
Sim, Oui, Ja, Si, Hai.
23) WHAT WAS THE FIRST GIFT THAT YOU REMEMBER SOMEONE GIVING YOU?
A beautifully bound book of Bewick's birds that my Godfather Pete gave me on my fourth birthday. I still have it and treasure it and I blame him for the fact that my entire house is a library.
24) DO YOU LIKE SOMEONE?
I like lots of people. But do you mean 'like' or do you mean "like"? There's nobody I particularly "like" right now, though I'd probably stutter and blush were I to meet Alina Ibragimova.
25) ARE YOU DOUBLE JOINTED?
In places. It all depends on who I'm with and how drunk we are.
26) FAVOURITE CLOTHING BRAND?
I never buy anything branded except (and this is because I have worn them since I was a kid) Levi 501 jeans and Converse All Star hi-tops. And boy do I hate the fact that those are back in fashion again! Stop wearing what I wear, you bastards!
27) WHAT IS YOUR DREAM CAR?
It varies … Right now a 1960 Alfa Romeo Giulietta Sprint Zagato would be sweet.
28) WHAT COLOUR IS IT?
Alfa rosso. It only came in one colour.
29) WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE KIND OF EXERCISE?
In the absence of a swimming pool or a willing woman, I like to walk. A lot. Fast.
30) WOULD YOU FALL IN LOVE KNOWING THAT THE PERSON IS LEAVING?
They've all left, so judging on past experience, that's a yes. If there's ever another one, she'll probably leave, too. Hey ho.
9 comments:
I haven't done a meme in ages either, sugarpie! This is going to be my post for tomorrow! xoxoxoxox (and a few xoxoxox more because of some of your answers!)
P.S. I do hope you appreciate my use of proper sentences, capitalization and punctuation. I only do this for you. (In blog comments, I mean.) ;~D
Please post pics of your double-jointed talents!
Go for it, Savannah!
I think memes got a bit stale a while back, but now they're fun again as we've mot indulged for many a month.
I can't wait to read yours!
And yes, your beautifully written comments are very much appreciated.
xoxoxoxox
Katherine, those only come out in person and in vino.
Ooh I too want pics of your double jointed "talents". I beat you on the appendectomy. Mine "almost" burst at the age of eight. They made large cuts back in 1967. I shall answer this meme but it will probably take me until tomorrow to post!
These questions are much more interesting than the usual ones. As are your answers :-)
There's a pizza place here that actually offers a lasagne pizza -- yep, it's like a (bad) lasagne dinner scooped atop a chewy crust.
I still have my appendix, although I have a little scar at the corner of my mouth from falling down steps when I was 3. Don't remember falling, but DO remember the giant doctor's face looming over me as he stitched it (and me screaming like hell as they held me down).
Dive, there's nobody like you.
Neetzy, they certainly did their surgery with enthusiasm back then. Not so much "keyhole" as "entire barn door" surgery.
I look forward to reading your meme answers.
Ms.M: Eww! Hee hee. Pizza base with a lasagne splattered on top sounds truly horrific. Fold it over to make a lasagna sandwich.
Your doctor's face memory sounds truly traumatic.
Petrea, the world breathes a sigh of relief about that.
I, too, had the barn-door appendectomy. Visualize that with a myriad of other belly scars and you get a woman who would never wear a two-piece even if she didn't have the flab.
I am proud to say, however, that none of the flab came from eating lasagna pizza. Yuck!
Hee hee, Katherine. I am so glad your culinary tastes do not run to such evil depths.
As for two piece swimsuits, I don't think anyone over 19 should be allowed to wear them by law. Same goes for mini skirts. Some of the sights I see along the coast are even less palatable than lasagne pizza.
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