WTF Monday - Scoobies Special

Silly

Perusing Private Eye on the train yesterday, this cartoon reduced me to fits of giggles.

Have a splendid weekend.

500 Words XXXVII - This Week's Sentence

The shabby horse-trading and the wholesale whoring of principle and honour that followed in the reeking wake of our recent election reminds me of one of my favourite quotes from my very favourite historian, the incomparably brilliant beacon of the nineteenth century, Thomas Babington Macaulay:
"In every age the vilest specimens of human nature are to be found among demagogues."

To save some of you dashing for the dictionary, a demagogue is a political leader who courts popularity by arousing the emotions, passions and more particularly the prejudices of the people.
Inarguably true when Macaulay wrote it, yet even more painfully accurate today when applied to the slimy, sleaze-smeared leaders of all three of England's main political parties as they thrashed about in so undignified a manner in a vain attempt at forming a government that will be anything more than a pathetic mockery.
Three parties bereft of policies, principles and - after this week's disgraceful display - any shred of decency have left the concept of democracy indelibly stained with their shameful (or more accurately, shameless) hypocrisy as they publicly wrestled in a festering pismire of lies and deceit for a position at the trough.

The vilest specimens indeed.

So it is to the magnificent Macaulay we look for this week's sentence.
It might well have been his astute (and tragically funny) observation that "The Puritan hated bear baiting not because it gave pain to the bear, but because it gave pleasure to the spectators."

But instead I have chosen (as it lends itself more to storytelling): "The measure of a man's real character is what he would do if he knew he would never be found out."

You know the rules. Dive in and do your worst.

PS:
Aren't you proud of me for not swearing? Because believe me I want to.

500 Words XXXVI - Story Time

This week's sentence was taken from The Inaugural Address of Franklin D. Roosevelt.

The sentence was: 'We must act, and act quickly.'

I had expected stories set in the thirties and maybe a guest appearance by FDR himself, but instead we find ourselves - somewhat bizarrely - entangled in the modern American service industry.
That's one of the things I enjoy most about 500 Words: the surprising and delightful randomness of our writers' fecund imaginings.

Got your coffee to hand?
Settle in then for this week's stories:

Vanda's 'This Unamerican Life'

Clashing cultures formed the modern US of A and by the look of things, they are still at it. Vanda's Raj is a character I really want to see more of, though reading this week's story I am kind of glad that I'm anosmic.
Oh, and a great title, especially for us NPR fans.

Dive's 'The Gentleness Of Bees'

Caffeine, shouty old men, the dreadful things hairdressers name their shops and orange plaid slacks. I'm back with my apparent waitress fixation this week.

Any late stories will be added as they come in, and next week's sentence will be posted tomorrow (if I can think of one in time).

Enjoy.

WTF Monday - Obesity Special

500 Words XXXVI - This Week's Sentence

In the spirit of appalled disenchantment, deep revulsion and utter contempt for the three main allegedly political parties currently bickering over which of them gets to despoil our country for the next four years, this week's sentence harks back to the days when politics mattered and democracy was not debased to its current sickening extent.

It is taken from The Inaugural Address of Franklin D. Roosevelt.

The sentence is: 'We must act, and act quickly.'

You know the rules. Five hundred of your finest words, please.

Somebody pass me a gun; I've got a revolution to start.

¡Hasta la Victoria Siempre!

500 Words XXXV - Story Time

This week's sentence was taken from Bram Stoker's 'Dracula.'

It was: 'I am alone in the castle with those awful women.'

So settle in with your coffee and crucifixes and strings of garlic and let us tell you stories.

First up:

Katherine's 'Sometime In Time'

Scary and indeed dangerously delicious writing from Katherine this week. Fortunately no vampires but something even more dark and deadly (and chocolatey) lurks within.

Dive's 'What We Did On Vacation'

A vampire-free zone from me, too. As usual, I don't know where the hell this one came from; I just started writing and it all poured out. Mercifully, none of it is from personal experience.

Next sentence tomorrow. Any latecomers' stories will be posted up here as they come in.

Toodles!

WTF Monday - Berkeley Edition

A big thank you to Katie for spotting this one at the weekend.
You gotta hate the way that stuff gets stuck between your paws.

500 Words XXXV - This Week's Sentence

In honour of Katherine's inclusion of a vampire reference in her last story and also the current obsession of the planet's twelve-year-old girls for all things vamp (I even saw on my regular trawl of the bookshops a new paperback of 'The Picture Of Dorian Grey' vamped up with a brooding teen boy in a cape on the cover … outrageously cynical marketing at its most venal), I have delved this week into the original well and taken our sentence from Bram Stoker's 'Dracula.'

Twilight my fat hairy arse!

This week's sentence is: 'I am alone in the castle with those awful women.'

Gird yourselves with garlic and get writing.

500 Words XXXIV - Story Time

Many grovelling apologies for my blog-lapses of late. I could give you any number of excuses but I'll settle for "The dog ate my homework."

Catching up on our 500 Words stories, the last sentence - if my addled memory serves me correctly was taken from Truman Capote's classic 'In Cold Blood'.

It was:

'While Perry waited in the car, he had gone into the hospital to try and buy a pair of black stockings from a nun.'

I've not had time to think, let alone write just lately, so I shall leave this one to Adonia:

Adonia's 'Part V - Perry'

in which she amazingly manages to weave that utterly implausible sentence into her already developing storyline.

Awesome!

A bonus this week is that Katherine has turned in a late assignment on the previous sentence about Claire.

Katherine's 'The Big Nowhere Indeed'

A writer writing about a writer thinking about writing. And when the writer is as talented as Katherine you just know it's going to be good.

I shall try to come up with a sentence for tomorrow and hopefully may even find the time to start writing again. We shall see …