For any Colonials who may not know, "Plod" is a generic term for the police over here - named after the impressively dopey P.C.Plod in the childrens' classic, Noddy.
Quite apart from the fact that my local Plod - based in the nearby village of Acle - have the most awesome pursuit cars (they are the only force in the country to have had the Lotus Esprit Turbo V8 supercar decked out in Plod colours … yay!), their chief also comes equipped with the most splendidly appropriate name.
This is from the newsletter they send round the villages and which plopped fortuitously onto my doormat:
If you're thinking of turning to a life of crime in my part of Norfolk, you're going to get pinched by the Plod, and who better to pinch you than our own crusading crime-buster, Inspector … er … Pincher?
Though "Our area remains to be a safe place to live … ?"
Did you get that translated from the Chinese by Babelfish?
Sheesh!
You may have a great name but please learn our language.
Though "Our area remains to be a safe place to live … ?"
Did you get that translated from the Chinese by Babelfish?
Sheesh!
You may have a great name but please learn our language.
That's a magnificent moustache, Inspector!
And if he's not around, watch out for his deputy!
Hoorah for the marvellously monickered Messrs. Pincher and Cuff.
With names like that, what else could they be but policemen?
And if he's not around, watch out for his deputy!
Hoorah for the marvellously monickered Messrs. Pincher and Cuff.
With names like that, what else could they be but policemen?
26 comments:
At first I thought you'd Photoshopped in the "Inspector Cuff" part yourself.
You're sure this wasn't an April Fool's prank by some neighbor?
That's really something! You could get cuffed by Pincher or pinched by Cuff.
And what's going on in the photo? Stroller inspections?
Hi, Sarah!
This is the genuine article. We really do have Inspectors Pincher and Cuff at our local Plod station.
As for the strollers; the police here are really tough on juvenile crime. Looks like those two hardened malefactors are about to get a taste of life behind bars.
Very good... great names...... remember that I am the neighbourhood watch co-ordinator for my little Close........but we have young female co-ordinators that look good in their uniforms....they walk around here......well they spend a lot of time coming in and drinking tea, while I tell them to be careful out there.......would not like to walk alone on the streets nowadays...they say one is getting old when policemen and Dr's look young...... boo hoo... then that makes me old!!
Fantastic names. Do you think there might be a Cuthbert and Dibble in the town too? The English thing - don't get me started. I see it everywhere.
Sarah, I think those mothers with strollers were having a drag race and were pinched and cuffed for speeding.
Book 'em, Danno!
Mum … EVERYONE looks young these days!
Lynn: now I'll be chanting "Hugh, Pugh, Barney Mc.Grew, Cuthbert, Dibble, Grubb" all day.
Sigh …
Lupine Lady: Woohoo! I'd forgotten Hawai'i Five-O. What a great programme that was. "Book 'em, Danno" almost makes me feel young again.
colorful, sugar, absolutely colorful! i see a possible tv series forming! xoxox
I know David Cuff :D He's a very nice police officer.
Lynn: I know John Cuthbert - he works in the Bowthorpe area. He and his colleagues took me and my husband (separate police cars) on a ride-along. Another nice chap!
Savannah: That would be the dullest TV cop show ever! We are a pretty much crimeless village.
Joy: I must confess our local plod are wonderful people. I've met a few and they've all been tremendously helpful, though I have yet to meet anyone so esteemed as Messrs. P and C!
I love your "Cuthbert" comment. I wonder if the rest of the Trumpton team moonlight as policemen?
Dive, I just love the splendid English style wot them Peelers uses to convey essential stuff.
It's wonderful that the Plod have been working closely with a magnificent moustache to Cuff and Pinch.
Y'know, they say English is a fluid language.
I certainly agree.
However the cringe factor, built in to all this fluidity brings tears to one's eyes.
Question, Sir.
Has the word, "normalcy", hit your shores yet?
You are forgiven if you ignore this Q.
Lotus Esprit? They can Pincher and Cuff me any time as that is about the only way I'll ever get to ride in one of those bad boys.
MB: I think you need to go here:
http://smallglassplanet.blogspot.com
/2007/02/on-naming-of-things.html
Cali: Get your ass over here and misbehave.
OMG!!!! Are these two for real??
I think American cops look more threatening than yours.
They are most assuredly for real, Katherine.
And decidedly non-scary.
Your cops have guns and attitudes; ours like a nice cup of tea and a natter.
Normalcy M.? Oh no please no.
Joy that's great! :)
Those are some great names for police officers! I don't even know who works at our police station.
One of these days, Dive, one of these days! In the meantime do not encourage me. I think I've caused enough trouble in other parts of the world. ;)
Dive I disagree with your answer to Savannah – I think this would make a great TV show! It could be modeled after CHiPs (with the infamous Ponch and Jon) and be called BAPs (for Broadland Area Plods), featuring Pincher and Cuff wearing tight-fitting uniforms and getting into the kind of hilarious dust-ups that could only occur in small Norfolk villages. I’d watch!
Lynn: I'm with you. I checked back and we already had this conversation once. Hee hee.
Robyn: go throw a brick through the police station window; you'll get to meet them soon enough.
Cali: Causing trouble in various parts of the world seems a good lifestyle choice to me.
Katie: Oh, lordy, what a great idea!
It could be like "Hot Fuzz".
I love the name "BAPS", as over here it means "burger buns" and also "boobies".
Mmmmmm … boobies …
I thought cops were called 'bobbies' in England, or is that only in London?
Funny you should mention tea drinking; just recently our cops did a 'talk with the public' on several Saturday mornings at Starbucks, in what was billed as a natural and relaxed setting. Unfortunately, I was out of town on the allotted days. I wonder if they paid for their own latte!
Hi, Cynthia!
The traditional "bobby on the beat" was our friendly, blue-uniformed local policeman on foot or on a bicycle.
Those are a rare sight these days.
Of course, cops are known by all sorts of other names, too.
We have - among others:
Babylon, Pigs, Bacon, Peelers, Coppers, Plod, The Boys In Blue, The Filth, The Fuzz, The Old Bill/ The Bill, Rozzers and of course, The Sweeney (from Cockney rhyming slang: "Sweeney Todd / Flying Squad" and also the name of the greatest TV cop show ever).
I imagine folk in the US have even more terms for your cops.
Oh, and while your own cops are synonymous with coffee shops and donuts and shooting people, and the London police are often accused of endemic racism and mindless violence, our own local village bobbies are more prone to sitting down with you for a nice cup of tea and a chat.
Yes in fact a policewoman recently sat on my sofa drinking tea with me after vandals smashed the wing mirror on my car. Of course they won't catch them, but we had a nice talk about the skirt I was wearing, which she had the same at home and social behaviour etc. However, our police force has become a little crazy in my view owing to over-the-top Health & Safety and also Human Rights. It's all become somewhat laughable. I had a smashed wing mirror. Now; I kid you not; I was offered counselling; victim support. I told them not to be ridiculous.
By the way I've posted a pic of Hot Fuzz today..
Hee hee. Yes, I recall being offered victim support after I had disturbed a burglar in my house, grabbed him by the throat and defenestrated him through the kitchen window.
The police caught him before he got out of the village and told me I was lucky he didn't press a complaint against me for the cuts and contusions he suffered from landing face first on my pot herbs.
They did, however, spend hours sitting and chatting and watching the World Cup with me and drinking several kettles worth of tea.
I seem to remember it was the match where the USA beat Italy and we found that hilarious, rooting - in our very English way - for the underdog.
Lovely people.
Thank you so much for the link, Dive.
It was a pleasure to read your wonderfully composed rant on the subject of lowering our standards.
I remember it so well and the pleasure you gave us all back in February 2007.
For anyone wishing to read it again, here is a link which should direct them to it, as your link was missing something or other.
http://smallglassplanet.blogspot.com/2007_02_01_archive.html
Oh, - would he have been rooted if his team had lost or won ?
And could he be defenestrated if the fenster was open ?
We recently saw some silly Brit cop movie. I think it was called "Super Fuzz." Totally inappropriate for the kids but very funny in that stupid kind of way that I like.
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