It's a pen.
Plain and simple.
P … E … N … Pen.
My fountain pen ran out of ink in a meeting earlier today and as the ink is upstairs at my workstation I delved into my stash of sketching pens and yanked one of those out to finish what I was writing.
I didn't get to finish the sentence, however, as I was brought up short by something that told me I had left reality and ended up somewhere else entirely.
"Something the matter? asked the Structural Engineer.
I stared at the pen, turning it around to make sure …
"Yup." I replied. "This isn't my world. I've been suddenly transported into an alternative and totally fucking dumb universe."
I passed the pen around and they could only agree.
Apparently, in this universe, pens are no longer pens. This one is a "pigment liner."
That's what it says. It's clearly a pen but it doesn't say that anywhere on it; it just says "pigment liner" … except it's in upper case.
What the fuck kind of dipshit marketing department calls a pen a "pigment liner?"
It's a PEN! A PEN, you buttfucking morons! It's puts ink on paper and you write with it. It's a fucking PEN!
A PEN as in my all time favourite typo: "The Penis mightier than the sword."
It is not and will never be a "pigment liner."
These are the same people who call a delivery van a "logistics solution."
They deserve to die.
Slowly, painfully and amusingly.
So anyhoo … That's how my meeting went this morning. We all agreed (and minuted) that a pen is a pen and that anyone calling it a "pigment liner" is a buttfucking moron.
So how was your day?
20 comments:
Hi, sweetie. OK, Dive, I just had to look - and PEN's full name is Staedtler Pigment Liner Sketch Pen,which I think has to do more with the stuff it's filled with than its use. Pilot also calls their's "Pilot Drawing Pen - Pigment Ink."
Stitches out today, everything healing fine. I made faces at the nurse's digital camera as she took pictures for the doc, and requested that she put one of the contorted one's first in the series. He'll know for sure he drew the stitches a bit too tight!
So, I'm sitting here, still flush with the pleasure of making faces for the plastic surgeon, eating a salmon sandwich and a cup of fire-roasted tomato bisque soup. Oh, yummy damn!
Mine doesn't even say "pigment liner sketch pen", it just says"pigment liner." No mention of pen anywhere on it. Why are these people so obsessed with pig men?
Yay for the new, non-stitched you! And yay aussi for tomato bisque! Highly effective as a medicinal beverage. Keep on feeling and looking better every day.
I think it has to do with how the artist may intend to use it. The info I've been able to find about dye inks vs. pigmented inks has more to do with copiers and photographic applications than with drawing supplies. Basically, dye inks dissolve completely in water, pigment inks do not. So, if you're going to want a line that will blur/dissolve in water, you do not want to pick up your "pigment liner."
Dive, You may just need to apply a little "blue sky thinking" to this latest marketing tag ;-)
Or maybe a little Dilbert would help:
http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/2010-10-20/
Glad you got your stitches out, Speedway. Hope you mend quickly. :)
Good one, Ms. M.
Actually, Dive, since you asked: I went to the store to purchase sundries. A customer called the clerk a "buttfucking moron" or something like that, which he clearly wasn't and which the customer clearly was.
And the clerk took the abuse.
And the manager waited on the bfm.
And everyone else in the store was horrified.
I am amazed they didn't kick her out. She's not welcome in my store. If I had one. If I had a pigment liner I'd write slogans on her mask.
I forgot to tell you she was wearing a mask.
I really feel for that cashier, Petrea. Forty years ago, I worked in a small pub where one of the customers smacked a co-worker on the rump, saying "How 'bout more coffee here, honey?" Of course, Cathy went high and to the right over this assault, at which point our manager stepped in, picked up the man's check and told him the pub didn't allow customers to be rude or to assault the employees and would he please leave - now. The man did, along with his very embarrassed wife. Of course, she would've been welcomed, if she cared to return.
Petrea, there are special sterile markers filled with gentian violet dyes, which are meant for use by surgeons. It takes a full 3 days to wash off evidence of their use, but the BFM in the drug store needed to be marked with the explosive stuff used by banks. I just hope she wasn't wearing an Occupy mask.
P.S., Dive, it's still a pen. Its role is just a bit different because of the type of ink that's in it.
Speedway, that's too much information. I'm more "stimulus-response" based … "Rub pointy end against paper and make mark" is about my limit.
Hee hee hee, Ms.M. I think Dilbert's writers are being far too generous towards marketing departments.
A mask, Petrea? Now I'm intrigued. What kind of mask?
It makes me wonder whether perhaps the cashier and the masked abuser are not in some kind of bizarre sub-dom relationship that they like to play out in public (much like our respective governments).
"High and to the right" is a new phrase for me, Speedway. Wonderful!
I knew a girl in college who went by the name of Gentian Violet (this was back in the late seventies, when punk was the genuine article). Oh, for a time machine …
Whoops sweary Dive is back… just remember to fill your fountain pen with ink next time!
All this time I thought it was a pig mint liner--a sheet of easily disposed of, peppermint scented plastic used in a stye. Shows how ignorant I am.
Hmm, Katherine, I don't think I'd eat pig mint.
Dive, the mask was a triangle of navy blue cloth the woman (35-ish, give or take) had tied over her nose and mouth. She wore sunglasses over her eyes.
The manager said, "She comes in here all the time. I know how to deal with her."
I said, "Kick her out!"
Petrea, that's a strange story -- so she's wearing a "bandit" mask (like what the bad guys wear in old westerns when they rob the stagecoach and carry off the young women)?
Sort of like that, yes. Not a folded over bandana but a single triangle of dark fabric, tied behind her head with string or something similar. Very strange. I hope I don't run into her again.
It could be she has a disfigurement of some sort that she wants to hide. But her mental illness is too obvious to ignore.
Mud-colored pig mints are all the rage, Petrea. They are spearmint-chocolate flavored candy in the shape of sows, packaged in a cute little wooden pen. They also come in albino, made of white chocolate.
(For those of you who are taking this seriously for whatever reason, no, there is no such product as far as I know, but there really should be!)
knew I'd seen them, but years ago. Pink pig mint! This was the first among many Google results.
http://www.candywarehouse.com/colors/pink-candy/products/pink-peppermint-pig-gift-pack/
Well shit, Speedway. Here I thought I had latched onto something new. Guess only my product title suggestion is a little different. --Sigh-- Almost impossible to be original these days, isn't it?
Yup. It'd been so long ago that I'd seen the pink Christmas pig, I almost thought I'd imagined it. But there it was, tiny silver hammer and all.
Yes but (or yes and) Katherine's are packaged in pens. Pig pens! I think it's brilliant.
You guys deserve a TV show all to yourselves.
Wait--what about this idea? Pig Mint Pens? See, the pens are hollow and filled with the pig mints. There's a rubber or plastic pig-shaped cap on the top of the pen (to hold the candies in). The ink color matches the candies (brown) and...wait for it...the ink smells like mint.
The pens are sold separately, or multiples can be packaged in a wooden "pen," a regular sow fest!
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