One thing that scares me about random searching in the blogsphere (and there are many scary things in here, especially American God-nuts with guns) is the sheer, mind-buggering volume of people who want to show the world photographs of their babies.
Please allow me to draw you good folks gently to one side and whisper a word of advice:
(a) Even your close relatives find your baby pictures teeth-grindingly boring.
(b) The planet doesn't want and cannot feed any more people. Stop breeding, you fuckers!
(c) Your baby is really ugly.
Apologies for the short, pointless and offensive rant, but I have a headache.
Ow!
Following on (equally pointlessly) from yesterday's post, regarding random blogging and food: I just came across http://karsonsinvestments.blogspot.com/.
And I quote: "Karsons Investments is a premier Lentils export firm strategically located in Africa’s Beans and Peas Market".
Not, on the face of it, the most immediately fascinating blog, but it does have some lovely pictures of lentils, which make me feel quite guilty about having fallen from my smug vegetarian pedestal into a vat of sashimi.
Note also that they are a "premier" and not a "second rate, slightly shabby" lentils export firm. So if you are feeling peckish, and find yourself reasonably adjacent to Africa's Beans and Peas Market, within which Karsons Investments are "strategically placed" (somewhere in Africa, but they don't give an address, so I'd start looking now if I were you), you know who to call.
This has been a public information broadcast by a sad, bored man with a really bad headache.
OW!
2 comments:
I'd like to add my own observations to your baby rant. This is from the point of view of a bemused onlooker who can't and so won't have babies and has got over it.
Every so often a girl in this or an adjoining office gets big and then disappears for a few weeks, (getting paid by the organisation despite the obvious non-productivity) inevitably reappearing with a baby in a carry-cot to show off the offspring. The scene in the office looks like this: a big circle of girls with gazes fixed on the baby, cooing. The new mother looks like the proudest person in the world. I don't disagree with your point (a), Dive, but whether people are bored by this or not, they put on a cooing, delighted front for the glowing mother.
If you witness this scene from a slightly detached position, it's obvious that each of the girls in the circle of childbearing age wants badly to be that proud one in the middle.
I can't remember which commedian I heard recently on R4 (maybe you heard it too?) saying that overpopulation is at the root of many of the world's problems, and that we need a culture shift - we need to reverse our reactions to life events - ie when someone has a baby, the reaction should be a sad "Oh, I'm sorry..." and when someone passes on, the reaction we currently use on news of a new arrival. Many a true word....?
"A big circle of girls" … Spot on. The men usually commiserate with the father down the pub.
I also think you should listen in on the cooing horde after the mother and baby have left. I work in an almost all woman office and the bitching is truly shocking to such innocent ears as my own.
I think that anyone having a baby should be charged at the birth for the amount of environmental damage that baby will cause during its lifetime.
Problem solved (in a simplistic and facetious manner, as is usual with me)
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