More festive Christmas reading from the declassifieds (this one takes a few seconds to download but it's worth it):
We're still back in 1959 and this time the USA is looking to counter those pesky Soviet Sputniks by … er … bombing the Earth from the Moon.
Yup. You heard. Bombing the Earth from the Moon. Doctor Evil, eat your heart out. You've got nothing on the real US military morons.
I particularly love this phrase from the Introduction:
"The employment of Moon-based weapons systems against Earth … may prove to be feasible and desirable."
"DESIRABLE"?
As the document unfolds, sanity quietly sneaks out the back door and the logic of Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper and Colonel Bat Guano takes a firm grip as the finest minds in the US military attempt to justify claiming the Moon as their own by - among others - citing Amundsen planting a Norwegian flag at the South Pole, before simply stating: "The fact world (sic) of history knows only the success (their underlining) which turns the law of the stronger into the law of all."
Yeah, right … look where that's got you.
The sections on how to shit your pants if the Rooskies get there first are eye-watering. Now we know why Kennedy really made the "because it's hard" Moon landing speech.
The Project Horizon diagrams, however, are a hoot: ice skates and excreta receptacles ahoy! I would so love to have been one of the graphic artists on this project. The spacemen even have pointy antennæ!
Woot, woot, wibble and dribble. These guys still have nukes, people. Remember that and try getting to sleep tonight.
This has been a public service announcement from the giggling guy in the rubber room.
4 comments:
"The fact world (sic) of history knows only the success (their underlining) which turns the law of the stronger into the law of all."
I can't parse it. It's meaningless. Where's the gummint grammarian?
I believe it's the same guy who taught George Dubya to speak.
Thanks so much for bringing this to us. Part of me is horrified and ashamed to be human but at the same time it's very funny.
Hi,Sheebee! Happy New Year! Horrified, ashamed and giggling is a great way to start 2016.
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