So … Charles the First … Let's take a looky.
"You're so vain, you probably think this painting's about you … &c." via the interweb.
It appears to me that - even though I don't believe he can read more than a sentence at a time - somebody must have sat a young Donald Trump on their knee and told him a story about Charles the First (probably with lots of brightly-coloured pictures). Some quotes about Chazza's character that sound strangely familiar:
"He truly believed that his regal authority was paramount and that parliament was merely a compliant instrument to finance his requirements … He had certain firm convictions that could not be altered by arguments or by events; if you agreed with him you were a friend, but any who questioned his judgement were enemies from that moment forward."
"He could never see the point of view of anyone but himself and his lack of imagination would … cost him his throne."
"… he would become enmeshed in the problems caused by his inability to use tact or craft in the affairs of the world."
The English Civil War was much less brutal than the horror and slaughter of the US version and is consequently a lot more fun to read about. Lots of galloping about and besieging one another's houses, long-haired cavaliers and short-haired roundheads mocking one another (though many on the parliamentary side kept their hair long, as befitting their status, such as Cromwell and Fairfax).
A veritable library of books has been written on the subject, but if you want a quick, readable and occasionally amusing overview of the utter farcical confusion, Peter Ackroyd's is as good a place to start as any (see sources below).
Alexander Leslie: a proper soldier who humiliated Charles' ramshackle army in the First Bishops' War and occupied the north of England against the king. Courtesy the National Galleries of Scotland.
There were two "Bishops' Wars" just before the two main civil wars broke out; both due to Charles forcing what were tantamount to Popish rites on the Protestant Scottish Covenanters. Charles got his arse kicked verily by Alexander Leslie, the able and professional Scottish general. Diplomacy was not the king's strong point; in the days leading up to the outbreak of hostilities the king's man Sir Francis Windebank (anag: wank in bed) scaled bravura new peaks of splenetic, almost Trump-Tweetian* apoplexy, referring to:
"Those scurvy, filthy, dirty, nasty, lousy, itchy, scabby, shitten, stinking, slovenly, snotty-nosed, logger-headed, foolish, insolent, proud, beggarly, impertinent, absurd, grout-headed, villainous, barbarous, bestial, false, lying, roguish, devilish … damnable, atheistical, puritanical crew of the Scottish Covenant." Huzzah! A veritable Thesaurus of abuse and utterly unhelpful in negotiations but great fun to yell aloud when in your cups.
* Trump-Tweetian: I claim neologism of the day.
Meanwhile, back in Norwich, the plague arrived just after Charles' coronation and in an attempt to stop it spreading further into the realm the king commanded the mayor to "scour the city ditches of their filth and nuisances" which may have helped keep the 1635 plague death toll in the city down to 1,431 persons (Blomefield).
The Suckling family (whose beautiful mediæval house forms the restaurant of Norwich indie movie heroes Cinema City) at last came to the help of the poor and starving Worsted weavers (see previous posts), bestowing 6l. per annum "for ever" to provide them with bread.
In 1640 the Long Parliament began and ruled that it could not be prorogued except with its own consent (pop down the rabbit hole should you wish to amuse yourself with Charles' hatred of parliaments, much like Trumps' affection for Nancy Pelosi), Norwich sending its own representatives and Huntingdon sending one Oliver Cromwell.
The Norwich 'trained bands' (militia) were summoned and set to work ensuring the armoury at the castle was up to scratch as an increasingly petulant king made himself dangerously unpopular across the realm. Norfolk being a traditionally 'revolting' place and having suffered so much under so many kings formed the Eastern Association in 1642, together with Suffolk, Essex, Hertfordshire and Cambridgeshire, shortly joined by Lincolnshire and Cromwell's Huntingdonshire, declaring the whole of Eastern England for parliament.
One-hundred foot and fifty mounted dragoons were sent out from Norwich to Colonel Cromwell "for the peace of the region." These were soon followed by another fifty and then a flood of militia and volunteers.
The following year it was recorded, "The Virgins of Norwich, hearing of the Cavaliers' violent outrages committed upon their sex wheresoever they get the victory, are so sensible of their reputations that they have readily contributed so much money as hath raised a goodly troop of horse for their defence, which is called the Maiden's Troop."
Norwich being by then secure and the battles mostly in the west the Maiden Troop as it became known went into active service for the 1644 campaign.
Next time, Trumpists invade the Capitol … er … actually, Charles the First stamps his foot, pouts and starts a civil war because he can't get his way.*
* You may have guessed, this was re-written in Feb. 2021 in the light of recent events across the Pond.
Sources:
Acts and Monuments: Foxe: Old Dive's 1621 edition.
The History of the Reformation of the Church of England: Gilbert Burnett: Old Dive's 1730 edition.
Clark's Lives - The Marrow of Ecclesiastical History: Samuel Clark: Old Dive's 1675 edition.
A Discourse - Wherein is Examined What is Particularly Lawfull During the Confusions and Revolutions of Government: Anthony Ashcam: 1648 (Old Dive's copy which discusses what the hell to do if you're about to execute the king) in three parts (which influenced the policies of the Protectorate)
Francis
Blomefield: An Essay Towards a Topographical History of the County of
Norfolk: Volume 3: The History of the City and County of Norwich:
published 1753 to 1775
Norfolk Museums Service and the Norfolk Archæological Society
East Anglian Archæology Vol. 132: Norwich Castle: Excavations and Historical Survey: 1978-1988: Part II: c.1345 to Modern: Elizabeth Shepherd-Popescu: 2009
Cromwell, Our Chief of Men: Antonia Fraser: 1973
Diary and Correspondence of John Evelyn with Life: H. B. Wheatley: 1906: 4 Vols
Samuel Pepys' Diaries: H. B. Wheatley: 1911: 8 Vols (expurgated) bound in a rather lovely cornflower blue
The Diary of Samuel Pepys: Latham and Matthews: Folio Soc. Limited Edition: 11 Vols (unexpurgted)
Narcissus Luttrell's Diaries (ongoing transcription project by Old Dive)
The Interregnum, 1648 - 1660, Studies of the Commonwealth, Legislative, Social and Legal: F. A. Inderwick; 1891 (an exceedingly good read, despite the dull title; I lucked onto an inscribed and signed first edition for next to nothing … yay!)
Notable Historical Trials: Vol 2 of 4: Chapter III: The Trial of Charles I: Justin Lovell (ed) 1999
The History of England Vol 3: Civil War: Peter Ackroyd: 2014
The Printed Plans of Norwich 1558-1840, A Carto-Bibliography: Raymond Frostick: 2002
Norwich Cathedral - Church, City and Diocese: 1096 - 1996: Various Eds. 1996
Norwich Cathedral Close: Roberta Gilchrist: 2005
Norwich Since 1550: ed: Carole Rawcliffe & Richard Wilson: 2004
Norwich - The Growth of a City: Barbara Green & Rachel M R Young: Norfolk Museums Service: 1981
Norwich Houses Before 1700: Vernacular Architecture, Vol 14: 1983
4 comments:
Well it does sound painfully familiar, and might have been worse for England in the day because you can't vote a king out of office. And it was scary there for a bit. We were afraid we were going to get a dictator. Turns out the wanker was...well, a wanker. Off with his head! If only...
If Trump ever comes over here again we'll rebuild the scaffold outside Mansion House and get the headsman to sharpen his blade.
The news here is showing the golden calf; the golden statue of Trump they've put up at CPAC to bow down before.
I'm still terrified of the far right in the US (and elsewhere). We need to re-run the TV series The Nazis - A Lesson From History.
It's so very...weird. They worship him. I can't imagine why they feel that way. If he showed up on my doorstep I'd call the cops.
It strikes me though, that although I've seen this golden calf on the news, it's not a big story. This reminds me that sometimes the media makes the news where there is no news.
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