In an attempt to cement her reversal of the Reformation and prevent her little sister Elizabeth ever gaining the throne, Queen Mary married Catholic Prince Philip of Spain, naming him King of England (rather than prince consort) to the utter horror of the populace.
Jesuits flooded into the country from Spain and the Spanish Netherlands, hunting heresy with all the gruesomeness of Torquemada's Spanish Inquisition (which nobody expected). The Auto-da-Fé awaited those convicted, such as poor old Cranmer (see woodcut in previous post).
In the midst of this mayhem Mary proclaimed herself pregnant. Elizabeth was released from house arrest and confined close to her sister so that - should Mary die in childbirth - Philip would immediately marry Elizabeth to ensure a Catholic succession. Elizabeth was - understandably - aghast at the prospect.
The French ambassador ridiculed the pregnancy as more likely "to end in wind rather than anything else" and events proved him right. Mary's pregnancy had been false, brought about by her desperate desire to produce an heir.
Philip, who had never found Mary physically attractive and who was himself possessed of a chin like a brick and legs like a chicken, now returned to Spain and stayed there.
After a second false-alarm pregnancy (how it was conceived with her husband hundreds of miles away was conveniently never questioned; no matter how malformed his physiognomy otherwise, I'm pretty sure he couldn't have been that well-endowed), Mary was reluctantly forced to accept Elizabeth as her heir.
She died eftsoones, probably from ovarian cancer and her husband wrote in a fit of passionate grief from abroad that "I felt a reasonable regret for her death."
Back at Norwich Castle, torturer and torturee rolled their eyes and wearily swapped places yet again.
During Mary's reign the Lollards' Pit saw more than its fair share of burnings. One Thomas Rose is named by Foxe among the martyrs even though he was not burned to death. As a Lollard, he had originally been imprisoned under Henry the Eighth, hung in chains in Norwich Castle and burned with flaming torches, then hung upside-down for a bit more of the same until his screams so sickened the gaoler that he set him free, whence he fled to Germany.
Returning under Edward's reign Rose was made a minister and was fool enough to believe Mary's proclamation of religious tolerance.Within days he was back in chains and under torture, somehow escaping abroad again and this time having the good sense to stay there.
In the final years of Mary's reign the following were led from Norwich Castle down through the deluge of chamberpot effluvia along Bishopgate to the stake at which they were burned to death.
1557: July 13th. Simon Miller and Elizabeth Cooper burned at the same stake.
August 5th. Richard Crashfield and John Noyes, again at the same stake. Two for one saved money on stakes it would appear.
September 23rd. Cicely Ormes, in front of a jeering mob of some two-hundred people remained praying in the flames with her arms crossed on her breast. Blomefield: "She kept them so until the sinews of her arms brake asunder, and then they fell, yea so quietly did she suffer."
1558: May 19th. A threesome: Will Seaman, Thomas Carman and Thomas Hudson. That's them in the photo above, being burned alive "by the persecuting Papists at Norwich in the County of Northfolke."
July 10th. Richard Yeoman, who was tortured miserably at the stake before being burned.
You beginning to see a pattern developing here?
In Foxe's words, across the realm:
"There are said to have perished in the flames, 5 bishops, 21 divines, 8 gentlemen, 84 artificers, 100 husbandmen, servants and labourers, 26 wives, 20 widows, 9 virgins, 2 boys and 2 infants; the one springing out of its mother's womb as she was at the stake and most unmercifully flung into the fire at the very birth.
64 more in these furious times, were presented for their faith, whereof 7 were whipped, 16 perished in prison, 12 buried in the dunghills, and many more lay in captivity condemned, but were delivered by the opportune death." (of Mary).
Ah, the good old days of Merrie Tudor England …
I wonder if death by burial in a dungheap is still on the Statute Books. So many politicians, bankers, hedge-fund managers and the like deserve nothing less.
And so we bid a not-so-fond farewell to Queen Mary Tudor and look forward to the reign of Gloriana, Elizabeth, daughter of Henry the Eighth and Anne Boleyn. Will she be any better a monarch? That remains to be seen. We shall meet her next time and also revel in the most execrable poetry ever written. If you've been reading ahead in Blomefield you'll know just what I mean; if not, you're in for a treat.
Sources:
Acts and Monuments: Foxe: Old Dive's 1621 edition.
The History of the Reformation of the Church of England: Gilbert Burnett: Old Dive's 1730 edition.
Clark's Lives - The Marrow of Ecclesiastical History: Samuel Clark: Old Dive's 1675 edition.
Francis Blomefield: An Essay Towards a Topographical History of the County of Norfolk: Volume 3: The History of the City and County of Norwich: published 1753 to 1775
Lollardy and the Reformation in England: An Historical Survey: James Gairdner: 1908: 4 Vols
Norfolk Museums Service and the Norfolk Archæological Society
East Anglian Archæology Vol. 132: Norwich Castle: Excavations and Historical Survey: 1978-1988: Part II: c.1345 to Modern: Elizabeth Shepherd-Popescu: 2009
Holinshed's Chronicles: 1577: Old Dive's 1808 edition. 5 Vols.
The Printed Plans of Norwich 1558-1840, A Carto-Bibliography: Raymond Frostick: 2002
Norwich Cathedral - Church, City and Diocese: 1096 - 1996: Various Eds. 1996
Norwich Cathedral Close: Roberta Gilchrist: 2005
Norwich Since 1550: ed: Carole Rawcliffe & Richard Wilson: 2004
Norwich - The Growth of a City: Barbara Green & Rachel M R Young: Norfolk Museums Service: 1981
Norwich Houses Before 1700: Vernacular Architecture, Vol 14: 1983
2 comments:
And God said, "Love thy neighbor, unless he goeth to a different church, in which case thou must kill him with as much vile vigor as thou can muster." Scourge, v.1
Yes indeedy.
Jesus said "Love thy neighbour." A decent enough guy until they nailed him up, and a good Jewish boy who loved his mum. I like to think of Mary not as the sacred virgin but as a typical Noo Yoik Jewish mom, kvetching about everything and moaning at her boy. It makes the New Testament more lively.
God, on the other hand was a vicious bastard; the Old Testament being one big slaughterfest.
And as soon as Paul and Barnabas got involved (violent women-haters both) the followers of Jesus started splitting into as many sects as there are Christians; each and every one having exclusive knowledge of the TRUTH and all others should be killed.
As Python so accurately speared it with the "SPLITTER!" scene in Life of Brian.
Post a Comment