They say that your schooldays are the best days of your life (mostly because you get to hang around with schoolgirls all day; a wonderful gift you don't really appreciate fully at the time).
Well, after years of trying to teach myself Japanese, I've discovered I'm a crap teacher, so it's time to become a student again and learn it properly.
Let's head down to the local college …
きいて ください。
I suddenly feel very old. Even Mayuko, our teacher, is young enough to be my daughter. And when Hilton tells me the things he wants to do before he's thirty, I realise that he probably wasn't born when I was thirty!
So here's my class:
Hilton's from China. He's been over here eight months, working as a translator (his English is very good), and now wants to add Japanese to his CV. The other guys in the class are Sam - a technical/architectural draughtsman with kanji tattoos who might end up like me if he's not careful - and Gandy, who's a cool, blonde surfer dude type.
Of the girls: Sophia is the best of all of us at Japanese; she already knows her kana and has had lessons before. Gandy's friend Shona (I hope I'm getting these names right) has spent a month travelling round Japan. She's got great pink hair and piercings. Lynne (the only student other than me who's not still in nappies) has travelled the world and is still jetlagged in class from being diverted to the wrong airport earlier in the day and having to cross the country to fetch her car from the right one. Then there's Camilla, who already speaks Spanish and wants Japanese as well; a quirky combination, but I approve of quirky. Her friend Louisa wants to be a fashion designer in Japan. She dresses straight out of Harajuku and looks like Kelly Osbourne would look if she'd grown up slim and pretty.
And I'm the old guy …
わたしは Dive です。よろしく おねがいします。
The guys are into manga, movies and games; the girls more into the culture and fashion and J-Pop/J-Rock.
Gandy is studying the warring states period; Hilton has a ninja fixation; Louisa and Camilla whisper and giggle, and wonder why their test results are different when they did the test together; Sam and me get the same results but with different answers (?); Lynne is nearly asleep; Sophia corrects me on some hiragana (rats!); Louisa likes to be called 'Weezer', like the band; Shona and Louisa are veggie, so best not bring them a tin of くじらto try …
That's the ice-breaking over. Next week the lessons start in earnest. Mayuko sensei promises some "leading and lighting". Looks like this could be fun. I'll keep you posted …
では また。
Homework time:
Today's phrase you must use in your next telephone conversation: もしもし。
Today's track to track down: Turning Japanese by The Vapors.
Today's reading assignment: As much manga as you can manage.
Today's fact: Asashoryu is a wuss.
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